Pulling Teeth

A toothache is a terrible burden to bear. While many of us have the good fortune to be just a phone call away from a qualified dentist, those living in a fantasy world may have to make do with who or what is available to them. Dr. Kyler Singhaven (NG kobold dentist) recognizes the plight of creatures both big and small. After all, be it a rotten tooth, an adventurer’s ribcage wedged between your molars or a sudden sensitivity to cold (damage), we all can agree that a dentist is an essential service for both peasant and dragon. 

Striking a dashing figure for a small blue-grey reptilian, Dr. Kyler Singhaven only wears the best suits, fashionable spectacles, sports high quality custom dental tools, and a mouth full of highly polished gold teeth. He famously and painstakingly replaced each of his original chompers by himself, sans anaesthesia. 

While the following adventure suggestions have landed Dr. Kyler Singhaven in a posthumous state, feel free to use a living version of the enthusiastic kobold dentist for a random encounter, quest giver, or town merchant.

In life, Dr. Singhaven was an eccentric and enthusiastic practitioner of the dental arts. His kobold clan’s warren – originally situated near a cluster of dangerous giant bee hives – made extensive use of honey in both their diet and trapmaking, resulting in many of his clan complaining of toothaches, cavities and advanced gingivitis. He took it upon himself to treat the ailments of his clan members, combining traditional kobold remedies with what he called “Radiconian Dentis Medi-seen.” His tenuous grasp of the Common language not-withstanding, his strange methods did result in a general improvement in the overall health of his clan. Less congestive heart failure, better breath, and fewer complaints of pieces of wire stuck between gums meant that his kobold compatriots could spend their days working on improving their traps and harvesting less sugary food instead of whining.

When word of the clan’s health spread, so did Dr. Kyler Singhaven’s fame. He was invited by bugbear chieftains, lizardfolk, manticores and more to ply his trade, to heal, to treat and to advise on the dental wellbeing of creatures across the land.

An Appointment Gone Wrong

Of course, all good things come to an end, and one such invitation ended up being the final call for Dr. Singhaven. Recruited by a small time adventuring party named The Big Wigs, Dr. Singhaven was lured into the wilderness on the understanding that he was to help a dragon with its painful toothache. Upon arriving at the dragon’s lair, they found nothing but a long dead dragon’s skeleton and no hoard, perhaps having been plundered long before by a previous group of adventurers. The Big Wigs jumped the good dentist, bashed him over the head, pulled his golden teeth, and left him to rot. 

Having been betrayed, robbed, and killed, Dr. Singhaven now haunts the region on a nightly basis.

A Toothsome Opportunity

Heroes looking for adventure and excitement may hear of the Haunted Hills of Ivory through rumour or job board, or even simply as a random encounter during their travels.

The Graycrest Hills, as they are more commonly known, are a gently rolling set of foothills at the base of a few grim granite mountains. Once home to a juvenile brass dragon that would prowl and hunt for antelope and coyotes, for the last decade the hills have been safe from monsters, and a small village has popped up to take advantage of the farmland and game for hunting. Rumours of the dragon’s hoard persist however, and several adventuring groups have searched the hills without any luck. 

Your heroes may be drawn to investigate the area for any number of reasons, but if you need inspiration, choose what suits your group best:

  • A brass dragon used to hunt in the hills, and now that it’s believed dead, its hoard may be abandoned
  • A kobold tribe, missing their famous dentist, asks the heroes for help
  • The Big Wigs, having established a plan that seems to work for them, lure the heroes to the dragon’s cave so they can mug them and take their treasure

The Chattering Haunt

Dr. Kyler Singhaven was betrayed and violently killed, his body desecrated by his murderers, and as a result his spirit clings to the mortal realm haunting the cave and surrounding hills. While travelling through the hills, particularly at night, evidence of the supernatural presence of Dr. Singhaven shows itself:

  • Trees and boulders sprout gnarly, hideous teeth
  • Springs and streams run red with blood
  • The sound of scraping metal dental tools and a hand-crank powered drill wake dreamers from their slumber
  • Traveller’s teeth begin to ache, and if they sleep in the area for more than a single night, their gums begin to bleed and teeth become loose, their breath become rank and sickening

These haunting effects remain until Dr. Singhaven’s soul is truly put to rest.

The cave is a simple tunnel hidden among the hills behind a bevy of boulders. There are just two chambers in the cave, the first is 15 feet in diameter and cluttered with broken stalactites, the second 25 feet in diameter, with debris and boulders pushed up against the walls. At the back of this second chamber lies the long dead skeleton of the brass dragon, and the more recently deceased body of Dr. Singhaven. Upon entering the chamber, a pained wail cries out from the pile of bones, and the dragon skeleton rises up, lunging forward to attack!

Creature: Dr. Kyler Singhaven’s ghost is a pitiful version of the once proud doctor, his once gleaming golden smile having been ripped violently from his corpse. The ghost gums and whines with it’s toothless maw, hissing at the heroes and threatening to take their teeth to replace his “lost bities.”  Dr. Kyler Singhaven doesn’t attack or use any of his ghostly powers until all four of the skeletal claws are destroyed, instead uses the Aid action to help the mindless skeletons land a blow or the Demoralize action (using Dental Lore instead of Intimidation) to utter ghoulish and disgusting facts about poor dental hygiene to inhibit foes. 

Four of the dragon’s skeletal claws are being controlled by the spiritual energy of Dr. Kyler Singhaven’s ghost, and the skeletal claws fight until they or the ghost are reduced to 0 hit points. 

Once the puppets are destroyed, the Doctor begins to use his frightful moan and ghostly hand attacks to finally deal with remaining interlopers. Warning! Low level or poorly equipped parties will find battling an incorporeal ghost to be very challenging, maybe even impossible! Give your players lots of hints that combat with Dr. Singhaven’s ghost may have to be avoided. If the heroes flee, Dr. Singhaven does not pursue them.

Treasure: A cracked dwarven helmet with the name “Pong the Gargantuan” inscribed inside in chunky childlike writing, 30 intact dragon teeth (each worth 3gp), and Dr. Kyler Singhaven’s journal. The journal, written in Draconic, details Dr. Singhaven’s many exploits, including curing a red dragon’s toothache, installing a trick tooth into a drow warpriest (refillable with various alchemical concoctions that slowly seep into the bloodstream), and filing down the razor sharp teeth of a bugbear that wanted to become a vegetarian. The final entry of the journal describes the doctor’s meeting with The Big Wigs at a tavern called The Rusty Crockpot and his excitement about getting to see a dragon’s hoard up close.  

The Root of the Matter

Reducing Dr. Singhaven to zero hit points is only a temporary solution of course, as the ghost will rejuvenate within a few days. PCs travelling through the Greycrest Hills will notice that the haunting effects of the ghost’s presence on the land have not ended. Putting the good doctor to rest will require a bit more work from the heroes!

The disreputable adventurers that mugged and killed Dr. Singhaven must answer for their crimes and have his stolen property returned to him if the ghost has any hope of achieving rest. Fortunately the sole surviving member of The Big Wigs still frequents the area. Pong the Gargantuan, a knuckleheaded dwarf (CE male) with more helmet than sense, has holed up at a tavern called The Rusty Crockpot and is slowly spending what remains of Dr. Singhaven’s golden teeth. He spent most of what he stole (teeth, cash, the dentist’s masterwork dental tools and much of the dragon’s treasure) to purchase a fearsome magical helm.

Discovering that Pong is part of the group that murdered Dr. Singhaven should be accomplished easily: the dwarf’s broken old helmet is at the scene of the crime, and the doctor’s journal should point the way. Pong has traded 5 of the kobold’s teeth to the bartender in exchange for drinks. The bartender doesn’t care about the teeth and will trade them to the heroes for 1gp each. The rest of the teeth have been traded to a gnome named Nimplepins, a craftsperson who forged the battering ram helmet that Pong now wears.

Creature: Pong the Gargantuan is not a smart cookie. If confronted or threatened, he uses his shiny new battering ram helmet to charge indiscriminately through the tavern, destroying anything in his path. Pong attempts to flee when reduced to 15 hitpoints.

Treasure: Pong has 4 of Dr. Singhaven’s gold teeth, a battering ram helm with a maker’s mark on the inside that depicts a pincushion with a sword stabbed into it, and a suit of beer-stained leather armour.

Finishing up the Set

The pink haired gnome Nimplepins (NG nonbinary gnome) runs a tidy little shop at the end of a neat little street in town. The outside of the little hut is overflowing with beautiful flowers and herbs. Inside the shop (which is sized for small characters), Nimblepins lives and works at building magical items and toys. Nimblepins is assertive but sweet, and prepared to bargain for the teeth. If you decide, they might even have a quest or favour to ask the heroes in return.

The Last Bit

So there’s a short little adventure that should occupy your heroes for a session, and a magic item to boot! What else could you want? No… seriously… what kind of content would you like to see in future posts? What serves you best? RPG supplements, fiction, reviews? Let us know in the patreon comments!